As you point out, insecurity makes you think and over-think about yourself. The antidote is not to stop thinking or improve of your thoughts, but to give them a better job. One way out of insecurity is to put yourself in service.
Modesty: When you are feeling insecure, get some advice from a wise person about the situation. Perhaps you are being inappropriate for your surroundings. For example, if you want to take the stage to talk about something you don’t know anything about, you are going to feel insecure – and rightly so.
Humility: Humility comes from a word for “earth.” In this way it literally means to be grounded. Sometimes people think “ego” is about thinking we are above others, but ego is concerned with being different. So while ego would like to be better then the crowd, it’s happy to settle for being much worse. Humility says, “I’m no better or worse than anyone else.
Sometimes insecurity happens when we recognize a the gap between what we could be and what we are. We sometimes think we have believe in ourselves to do well, but it works both ways. Insecurity says don’t do it unless you can succeed, but potency, mastery and self-esteem grow from first attempts that usually fall short. One of the best defenses for insecurity is to develop courage. Courage is being afraid or inadequate and doing it anyway. So, get out there and bang on your broken drum, even if everything goes south at least you’ll be in service to the people who are relieved that they’re not you
• It is good to accept and realize that you are not perfect, so you are bound to make some mistakes. You can always take time to plan and focus on what you have to do.
• Try to be more assertive in things you have to do. Don’t let negative thoughts go into your head.
• Try to focus and do the best you can. Try to be on the lookout for things you may have missed out, so you can redo whatever mistake that may have occurred.
• Try to take things one step at a time. Take things slowly. Do what you can at your own pace. This will slowly build up your self esteem.
• Try to confront yourself with the problems instead of buckling down and staying away. Think positive that you can do it as good as the other person.
If you have given it everything you’ve got and it’s still not working, and the service you provide is relief when you leave, it may be time to find something else to do
Many insecurities are common, and rooted in relatively simple human psychology of survival, but sometimes the simplicity is lost to our understanding in the complications of personal history or the blinding nature of viewing your own experience without trying to see your behavior from the perspective of someone else—someone who thinks differently or more objectively.
1st – write down and find out in what situations you feel insecure. And how in those instances you don’t believe/love yourself enough due to which you tend to become dependent on that person because you fear loosing them.
2nd – start working towards loving yourself. So you can do that in a number of ways. Think about all the things in which you’ve achieved success no matter how small it was.
So you get the trend right?
Take up some activity, focus on your accomplishments and you’ll start believing that you’re an achiever and then even start loving yourself for who you are. As you start loving yourself and believing in yourself, you won’t be insecure as you’re only insecure when your not sure about yourself and need someone else to tell you who you are and what your worth.